TOEFL寫作篇:研究所與托福寫作全攻略 Part II-登峰美語APEX,英語學習,英語認證,多益,托福,雅思,GMAT,GRE
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研究所與托福寫作全攻略 Part II

 
       
   

必考主題範文 I

Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computer have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. (within 500 words)
【 94 師大英語研究所】

 

主題句中心思想句

【1】With the advent of the Information Age, computers play a dominant role in the development, communication and dissemination of knowledge and ideas in modern days.【2】Irrespective of the widespread applications and great contributions to people's lives, some people think that computers impose pressure on us and make our lives more complicated. However, others appreciate the conveniences and 【3】amenities computers have brought.

喜愛電腦的兩個原因:

Proponents maintain that computers have 【4】relieved us of the burdens to perform daily routine tasks, and have given us quick and easy access to update information and instant communication, thus making our lives easier and more convenient. Facebook and Twitter can be cited as the best examples for modern people for social communication. Advantages of surfing the Internet are various, such as , reserving tickets, accumulating knowledge or information. Furthermore , we can communicate by email, which is the excellent way of correspondence. This is easier, faster and more reliable than the traditional way.

電腦兩個惱人的狀況原因:

Opponents criticize that computers occupy much of their time, 【5】depriving them of appreciating nature, enjoying outdoor activities, or family congregation. They 【6】would rather go on a picnic or a journey for sightseeing than stay at home surfing the Internet for the pictures presenting the beautiful resorts. They also accuse computers of segregating their relationship with their beloved family members.

結論:Syntax 與Synonym

While advantages and disadvantages are coexisting in the advanced techniques, I, personally, enjoy the convenience of computers, which furnish us with a wealth of information, and free us from the burden of routines; but I also detest the tough and frustrating complexities the sophisticated computers offer.

師大英語研究所 94 年考題與高雄醫學大學 98 年考題類似,而師大英語所則直接將托福題當成考題。

1. 範文中之第一段以呼應問題寫出 introduction 之部份: Question 為 Computers have made life easier and more convenient 以及 have made life more complex and stressful ,故先陳述電腦在現代世界之重要性,以 " 層遞 " 方式導入寫作之第一方向。

2. 在 Topic 與 Central 之位置,陳述問題之癥結,預示下一段將描述電腦之優劣。因此,將 Question 之用字,轉換成 computers impose pressure on us and make our lives more complicated 。同樣的, Question 之 easier 與 more convenient 換成 appreciate the convenience and amenities 。如此,便在第一段完成 " 層遞 " , " 主題+中心 " 之陳述。讀者可知下兩段為優劣並述之結構。

3. 第二段為 " 喜愛 " 電腦之理由。要先記住:每一段落之開始,需先陳述本段之主旨 (subject ) , 佐以 Reasoning 之因果句型。例子更不可少,以增強說服力。所以,第一句話,作者便陳述電腦之三個優點。 1. relieve the burden 2. access to information 和 3. communication( 以上為因 ) ,在 thus 後方,作者提出 " 果 " : making lives easier and more convenient 。接下來,便是 for example ,作者以 facebook, Twitter, the Internet 和 email 做為 1. 減輕負擔 2. 獲得資訊 3. 溝通容易之例子。更在最後,以 contrast 之寫作技巧,點出 easier 、 cheaper 、 faster 之比較級結構,收畫龍點睛之效。此即為我們在寫作上要學之結構 R(Reasoning) 、 E(Example) 、 C(Contrast) 。

4. 第三段為 " 嫌惡 " 電腦者。作者提出兩個原因,在第一句話的 statement 上,提出 occupy their time ,與 depriving them of appreciating nature…or family congregation 。接下來,便再以因果關係,陳述電腦佔去太多時間,結果是家庭聚少離多、戶外活動減少。雖然未有舉例,但因果關係明確,可收說服之力。

5. 結論段落,先將主題再重申一次,記得要更換句型,用同義字再陳述一次。因此作者說 advantages 與 disadvantages 並存。作者 " 喜愛 " 電腦的 " 方便 " 、 " 資訊 " 與 " 減輕負擔 " ,這三個 key points 正是第二段之內容,以簡明扼要之方式再次突顯;而接續下來是作者也不喜歡電腦的繁瑣,浪費太多時間之控訴。

通篇文章,一氣喝成,雖不是傳世之傑作,卻是四平八穩,將意見表達之完整呈現,同學在練習時,可以先依 " 描紅 " 之方式,慢慢跟隨通篇結構句句相連,模仿一次,再換成自己的寫作 ( 如換同義字、以 paraphrase 方式改寫一次 ) ,可收事半功倍之效。

 

以下我們討論作者所用之單字與句型

【1】With the advent of the Information Age, … ( 因為資訊時代來臨 …)
With = due to = 因為
※ the information age ( 資訊時代 ) , 一定要在 age 前面加 the
※ age 可以換成 era 、 epoch

【2】Irrespective of the widespread applications and great contributions to people's lives.
Irrespective of = regardless of = despite = in spite of ( 雖然 )
這四個成語皆當介詞,後面只能接名詞;而學生最常犯的錯,是在後面加 SV ,
最嚴重的是 despite 後面還加 of
Despite it rains, I go out as usual. ( 誤 )
Despite the rain, I go out as usual. ( 正 )
※ 作者用了 applications and contributions 押尾韻之寫法

【3】amenities = comforts 舒適

【4】relieve + 人+ of + 事 ( 減輕 … 的負擔 )
Computers relieved us of the burdens to perform daily routine tasks.
( 電腦減輕我們做日常瑣事之負擔。)

【5】deprive… of… 剝奪
Computers occupy much of their time, depriving them of appreciating nature

【6】They would rather go on a picnic or a journey for sightseeing than
       寧願                  than+平行結構
stay at home surfing the Internet for the pictures presenting the beautiful resorts.
         
( 他們寧願外出旅行觀光也不願待在家中上網搜尋名勝的照片。)

 
       
   
 

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